I’m quitting the blog. I just feel like it’s time for it. I know apologies might be the last thing you want but I’m sorry. As this is my last blog there’s a few things I would like to say. Yeah, this might end on a bad note, but since when have I ever not said what’s on my mind no matter the consequences? Firstly, I feel like this is an award acceptance speech, I’m trying to avoid that. We havent talked in forever and who knows whose fault that is. I just never feel like it. I never feel like doing anything related to this blog. I’m sorry. There’s a reason that I’ll attempt to explain later. So I’m sorry if I ever did anything wrong by you guys. I dont always do my best, but I try to. I know that. You guys really helped me last year and I’m thankful. I mean, it’s seemed like no ones wanted to be the bad guy who leaves and causes us to break up, but I just cant be associated with this blog anymore and if that’s the fallout then I really apologize. I hope you all remain friends and, as an added bonus, if you don’t hate me, me too. I guess I’ll be honest with all of you one-by-one. Cool beans.
Byron: I hated you. I hated you a lot. You were the most annoying kid I’ve ever met in my life. You still could win that title. You think you’re the King of Kings and everything is about you. Theres such thing as douchebags who are also gay. Them being gay has nothing to do with being dicks. Recently, not so much. I don’t hate you anymore. I’m sorry.
Catie: You really are one of my favourite people in the world. I wish I could do everything for you. I know that you’ll end up on top of the world and no one will hold you back. Theres no reason for you not to find a reason to smile and keep it forever. I’m sorry.
Ken: I think you’re awesome. I didnt use to think that. You were stealing Megan from me and it made me sad. When I was able to look beyond that, you’re really a real person. One of the few real people I know. I dont know what that means, but you’re just, a person. You deserve all the glory of success, whatever that definition is for you. I hope for your life to get better all the time. I’m sorry.
Megan: You broke my heart. You’re entirely the reason I need to leave. I can’t be associated with you at all. What you did to me destroyed me and I got over it, obviously, but I still need to do this. Closure? Maybe. I don’t really know. To you, I’m not sorry. I need you out of my life.
Patika: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You’ll never know now, how much I love you, until you take my sunshine away. I’m sorry.
Stuart: No one leaves blogs like The Black Knight. I’m sorry.
The only thoughtful thing I’ve ever thought of is that you should all find a reason to smile. Whatever it is, find it and keep it. I think it’s just time that we stop. I think taking a break earlier would have helped us but who knows. Obviously I have reasons beyond just “I think it’s time”. So there it is. I’m sorry I’m not perfect. I try though and I know it’s not good enough but it’s the truth. We’ve been through a lot and I’ll never forget it for as long as I live. That’s a promise and I do my very, very best to keep them. I care about all of you and if we never talk again, then okay, if we do, then I look forward to it. Stay strong, there is a better world and you guys are the type of people to bring it to light.
-Patrick
Patrick, I kind of felt like this was coming so I guess it doesn’t really surprise me. I’m sad you’re leaving because aside from Meg you were the first person from NF I got close-ish with. Thanks for what you said about me, that was nice to hear, I could never really figure out where we stood with each other because sometimes you’d leave some douche comments but sometimes you left comments that made my entire day better. I’m glad that I’ve had your friendship for the past year and a half, and I hope that we can still talk on Skype sometimes. I’m trying to do this entire comment without using and Catie Speak which is proving difficult ’cause all I want to do is use some squigglies and then some letter barf. Even though you’ve only posted a couple of blogs the past like… three months, I’m glad you made it through this year with us. I’m glad you quit because I could tell you didn’t like this anymore. There were points were I got really irritated with you, I’m not going to lie. But I couldn’t stay mad at you over something stupid. You’re smart, and I wish you all the luck in the world through the rest of college and finding a job and with your family. I really think you’ll be fine once you find what it is you love, and that quitting the blog is probably what is in your best interest. I hope you still come and talk with us every now and then. ~~~~osdighsdoig~~~ couldn’t do it.
I don’t know how many times I’ve said sorry to you, and hoped you’ve listened. I don’t know how many times I’ve worried about you, and hoped you are okay. I do know that I’m sorry. I understand. I never meant to hurt you. ever. those were never my intentions. I’m going to let you go. I think it’s time too. I’ve missed you, and will continue to miss you long after you are gone.
I don’t think its what i did to you that is the problem. it’s what i didn’t do. what you needed. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you needed. I wish i could have.
but, I don’t know how to put this in words. you don’t have to believe anything I’ve just said. you don’t have to. I don’t care. I stopped caring a while ago. But it’s true and it will always be true. don’t forget what we had, please.
Like catie said, there were times when you got me angry. same thing. but.. I couldnt stay mad at you for more than 4 hours. You have a charm. You are going to succeed, and do what you love. It may be a bumpy road getting there, but maybe with some swimming, you will
get there.
I still have your mitten you gave me. with the note inside.
I think of you every time I eat a hamburger. I picture you flipping it over upside down and I smile. every time.
This is like a motherfucking episode of survivor.
How endeering, you don’t hate me. Lovely.